Monday, March 9, 2009

The pervert within me

I violated a turkey yesterday, and yes.. I enjoyed it. My intent was to make my family a nice Sunday dinner, a BIG one, one that would make their mouths water and lips go SMACK!

Things started out innocent enough as I preheated the oven, but one thing seemed to lead to another, and by the time it was all was said and done, I felt dirty and in dire need to take a shower.

I don't want to mention any names, so to protect the innocent... let's just call said victim, Anita Butterball. She agreed to appear in this blog only, and I repeat ONLY.. under total anonymity.

I met Anita, of all places, at Walmart. It was the same day that I had the mental breakdown trying to pick out hot dogs. I was in a weak mental state at the time and Anita looked good, so I asked her if she wanted to come home with me. I'm not making excuses for my future actions where Anita is concerned, I'm just giving you a little background on how this all started. When we arrived back at my house I set Anita up in SMALL, but yet acceptable living quarters.

At first I wasn't sure if things were going to work out between us, she seemed cold, she had an almost frigid way about her. I talked to her about this, and we both agree that it would be best if I left her alone for a couple days. Just give her some time to warm up to me, let her emotions thaw out a bit.

I finally got the courage to check in on her after a couple days had passed. When our eyes met it was like magic, she had the ability to make my mouth water. I couldn't fight my urges anymore, so I picked her up into my arms and gave her a little squeeze, and let me tell ya, she was built! Anita had some meat on her bones, just the way I like it. None of that skin and bones shit for me. I was feeling quite kinky at the moment, I grabbed a pair of scissors and began to cut off her clothes. I can still picture the way she looked just sitting there, no words needed to be exchanged. She looked beautiful!

Anita pretended to be innocent, but I knew she was a dirty girl. I whispered... Dirty girls need to be cleaned. She didn't fight it, so I placed her into a lukewarm bath, and began to run my fingers over her soft, soft, skin. I know the way I worked my fingers all over her plump body must of gave her goosebumps, I could feel them, either that or she was covered in some strange (hopefully noncontagious) skin rash.

After that completely seductive bath, I wrapped her in a towel and began to pat her skin dry. The lust in my eyes was apparent, before I knew it I was grabbing the oil. Slowly I began slathering it all over her body. Anita giggled a bit, I heard a little squeak coming from her direction. I thought it was a giggle, it could have been her ass sliding against the cold metal sink, who knows. I was growing hungry for her like a ravenous tiger stalking his prey. Was there no end to my twisted ways? I couldn't stop myself.. as she lay there trusting me completely, she exposed her cavity, and with the stealth and speed of a leopard, I shoved an onion up her ass.

Needless to say, Anita and I didn't part on good terms. I learned a lot from this experience. How a regular person like myself could turn dark and dirty, I do apologize for this. Somehow I know what happened between us will turn out for the good. She can share her story with others, and warn them about the stranger to whom she trusted. God be with you Anita!! I'm truly sorry!


Just A Chic... said...

For a minute there I wanted to be Anita. Poor girl.

blognut said...

You are truly twisted!


Just A Chic: Yes, who wouldn't want to be Anita? It was all going so well until the onion came into play.

blognut: I'm one proud, twisted, individual! I think I was dropped on my head as a baby.. I have to make up some kind of excuse for my behavior.

Scandalous Housewife said...

Wrong, so wrong...but somehow, so right!


S-H: Hahahahaha!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

Oh my god I snorted! I never snort. Holy Crap. Thought to check you out due to your comment you left at 'Just a Chic' and I'm glad I did. Anita. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!
I'm so following you now...

David said...

It is so good that you can get this off shameful episode off your chest.

Nishant said...

my god I snorted! I never snort. Holy Crap. Thought to check you out due to your comment you left at 'Just a Chic' and I'm glad I did.
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