Sunday, February 15, 2009

Life sucks and then you die!

I'm feeling really bummed out today. As winter draws to a close and spring is fast approaching most people are jumping for joy. Hell, everyone jumps for joy, right?? Why the hell can't I jump for joy too damnit!? Well I'll tell you why...
When spring hits, I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK! The engineering company that I currently work for called today.

My Boss: "Hey, how ya holding up??" "I just wanted to call and check up on you." "Are you anxious to get back to work?"

Me: "Awww shit!!" "Why the hell did I answer the phone??" "What the fuck was I thinking??" "Hey John, it's so good to hear from you." "Yeah.. I've been sooo bored sitting around the house, of course I'm anxious to get back to work!"

This bites the big one!!! The feeling that I got from him on the phone was that I'd be returning to work in March. I'm the only one around these parts that's praying for another 10 ft of snow to fall. I really enjoy being able to spend time with my children. Thinking of leaving them again really upsets me. I'm not being overly dramatic about this. I've been known to work a 17 hour day. Saturdays and Sundays are not off limits either. It's not like I have a choice in the matter, I have to do it. I need that money to provide for my family. It takes two people now-a-days to make a go of it.

I mean.. would you be anxious to get back to lookin' at THIS? My job is to inspect the construction of bridge work and roadway/interstates. But I think my job title should be "Crack inspector." I have to look at this shit day in and day out and pretend like I didn't see it! I think I've seen every shape, size, dimension, dirty, clean, hairy, hairless, bumpy, smooth, deformed, disgusting ass crack that ever popped its ugly head out.

The funny thing is, I've never encountered a crack like this. Huh.. Go figure. Is life trying to play a funny joke on me? If it is... It's NOT FUCKIN' FUNNY! I mean.. the work place could be so much more pleasant with a crack like that around. So much easier on the eyes, don't ya think? I could hear myself now... ummm, excuse me, those dimensions don't seem to be right. Could you remeasure that for me again? AND AGAIN? AND AGAIN? I'd have him bending over so much he'd probably end up with a friggin' hump on his back. Poor guy would end up looking like Quasimodo.

If the ugly ass cracks weren't enough, I have to try not to barf when confronted by the unkept bearded guys. NO NOOOO! If I have to suffer through this nightmare, you can at least hear me out. Don't try to click off my blog just because you barfed in your mouth a little. Toughen up! We are now going to discuss FROZEN SNOT, yes I said FROZEN SNOT! I have to look these guys in the face while feeling my stomach juices slowly eeking up my throat. Don't even think about going near them right after lunch. I've seen every food product imaginable stuck to the front of their faces! I really don't think you want me to get into the snuff dribblers. This is not a job for a weak stomach.

Then there's dealing with the infamous... Male Chauvinist!
Definition: a male who patronizes, disparages, or otherwise denigrates females in the belief that they are inferior to males and thus deserving of less than equal treatment or benefit.
I have gone through 7 long years of this shit. It gets very tiring to deal with this on a day to day basis. I've walked out onto job sites and been laughed at, cat called, and out right hated before even being spoken to. Some men don't take to kindly to having a woman directing their work. But that's OK, how do you think I learned to cuss like a sailor? You learn to toughen up real quick out there.
In all fairness, I have to mention the "nice guys." For every 1 male chauvinist pig, there are 30 really great guys. Respectful, fair, pleasant and not threatened at all by a woman. That's good, because as far as my job title goes. I'm usually the only woman there. It can be lonely... so it's a relief to have some nice people to talk to.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and go back to my miserable existence at work. Unless I can come up with another means to bring home the bacon.


Susan said...

I've been not working for 2 weeks now, and boy could I get used to it - my kids never want me to go back, and I'm thinking hell, me neither!

Michele said...

I like reading your gripes. Not sure how I found your blog. I think I blogged about Nadya the same day you did.


Susan: I don't want to go back either!! I need to win the lottery.. quick!!

Michele: I'm glad someone appreciates my griping... my husband sure doesn't! ;)