Who the hell comes up with this sh*t?

I'm fired up today and ready to go people. You better hold on to your seats because I'm about to let loose... so if you look up into the sky today and see a strange green mist hovering overhead, there's no need to fear. What you are experiencing is just the result of a "Need To Bitch Bubble" that was floating above my head earlier. Needless to say.. it burst.

Right now you are stuck with me.... So at least do me the courtesy of hearing me out.

Today I'm going to bitch about discuss a few products that make me ask the question... "Who the hell comes up with this shit?"

First on my list of stupid products is the infamous Snuggie.



The first time I saw this infomercial... My jaw dropped in shock, I was incapacitated and speechless. I sat quietly... staring at the television set in disbelief! As the infomercial came to an end. I turned... slowly... and uttered the words.."What the F*ck was that??"

Here are a couple of reasons why I think the snuggie is a bad idea: (As if I really need to explain why)

1. If you are an elderly gentleman, you could quite possibly end up looking like a deranged monk! Note the upper left hand corner of the picture.

2. If your family attended a sporting event wearing "The Snuggie" .. chances are you would be very grateful that it gave you that "hands free" advantage. You'd be needing it after a very angry anti-snuggie mob (that I gathered) started ripping that god-awful garment off your back.

3. You look like a f*cking idiot!!!! Note upper left, right, and lower left, right hand corners of the picture.

Second on my list of stupid products is the disgusting Ped Egg

Glorified cheese grater with added sandpaper attachment?? You be the judge.

On the up side... if you're running short on Parmesan cheese, no need to disappoint your dinner guests. I know something that could fit the bill in a pinch. Note the upper right hand corner of the picture.

Third on my list of stupid products (just because of the name) is PediPaws

I for one can't understand why they called the product PediPaws.

Tell me if I'm wrong... The product was made for your Pet....

Note the happy dog and the "what the hell are you looking at" cat in the upper left hand corner of the picture.

...and it was designed to file down the nail, so it wouldn't actually cut into your animal and damage the skin.. right??

Therefore.. the product should have been called the PetiFile.

Silence..

Silence..

Silence..

OOPS!!! I get it now, my bad.

Fourth on my list of stupid products... the HD Vision WrapAround sunglasses

These glasses were designed to fit right over your prescription glasses. The glasses have also been known to give the wearer special abilities... Such as heat sensing. When the wearer slides the glasses on, heat sensing pits located in front of the eyes are used to detect warm-blooded pedestrians. A blindfolded HD wearer can still strike a pedestrian accurately, and it's all due to the remarkable sensitivity of these HD WrapArounds.

YEAH RIGHT....

I hate to burst your bubble if you think you look good wearing these glasses

To the rest of the world... you really look like this!

So on that note.. I shall leave you, I am now feeling stress-free and that green mist that was hovering in the heavens will likely dissipate.

Until next time, don't ever be afraid to "get your bitch on!"